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All Rolled Into One

September 21, 2010

My, what an interesting topic this week – have we ever gotten revenge on someone by writing them into one of our stories?

Most people who know me know that I never put any real people into my stories. Heck, I don’t even put myself into my own stories.

Wow, that was a little too close.

Point taken.

Truthfully, I sometimes have a tendency to put people I know into my stories. For the five or six of you who have read my previous blogs, you know that many times I’ll take parts of real people and meld them together into an amalgam.

I’ll also imagine (aka “fantasize”) about certain actresses who might play a role if my novel or short story were to make the big screen. That’s why Michelle Rodriguez, Angela Bassett, Linda Hamilton (looking much better on yesterday’s episode of Chuck than she did six months ago in real life) and Anabella Sciorra keep showing up repeatedly in my posts.

And I have been known to do away with more than a few enemies in my novels and novellas. A female classmate of mine in junior high tried to bully me. I tried to be the gentleman and not cold cock her when she slapped me repeatedly. I held out as long as I could before I belted her one. Then, I got home and got a different kind of belt for my “self-defense” (courtesy of mom).

(Note: You should never hit a woman, I know, but she was slapping the crap out of me; I lost feeling in my left cheek).

After serving a month’s grounding, I decided on a different fate for the would-be bully. So far, she’s met horrible fates in at least 10 stories, including the NAACP ACT-SO regional award-winning one-act play Ghost.

If you knew my back story, you might find some other enemies (and one or two back-stabbing psycho ex-girlfriends) meeting cruel fates in Black Man With A Gun, Next-Door, Society’s Children, Wrong Choices, Skyfall, Slow Boat to China, and Collection. A few double-dealing shrews associated with MMP (a defunct publishing company) might suffer unimaginably in Red Herring and Farm Report. For my female readers, I won’t mention all the women associated with stages and poles who have gotten my ire over the years (oh, wait, I just did…whoops, sorry).

And don’t get me started on how many “targets” bit the dust in Land of the Blind. I think I may have been angry at the entire southeastern United States. Or it was probably just the Army. Go Navy!

Right now, I have a real doozy of a target. This woman I met online once threatened to tear both my arms off and beat me to death with them. Even worse, she’s from New Jersey. Is that even a state? Ah, yes, my revenge will be sweet in the sequel to Hunters.

So, remember this one thing. If you have enemies that you want to get back at, try writing science fiction and horror. They’re really great vehicles for getting vengeance.

And I will end this now because I’m really starting to creep myself out.

Note: My apologies for not announcing the winner of my contest. I was surprised that so many people commented on my blog from a few weeks ago. I was concerned because the usual one person in my fan club was sick and missed reading me.

The winner of the contest is Sharon Hamilton, whose reviews are always in-depth and informative. Sharon, if you’ll drop me a line on gmail about how I can send a copy of Crawl to you, I’d appreciate it. Last I heard, the novella is so hot copies are flying onto the shelves.

Also, I think I’ll have to give J.D. Brown an honorable mention for admitting to blushing at the description of the female runner in Red Herring. Took a lot of guts, J.D. Get in touch with me and I’ll give you a coupon code or something for a copy of my e-book Dark Tidings (your choice of volumes I or II).

And, please, ladies, get in contact with me soon before C.J. really kills me this time.

Note 2: If anyone’s interested, I may be making my television comeback tonight at 10 p.m. (Eastern)/9 p.m. (Central) on ABC’s Detroit 1-8-7. I’m a senior detective (the other black guy with the ugly green, brown and orange-striped tie) in the night-time hostage scene with Mike Imperioli (The Sopranos) and James McDaniel (NYPD Blue).

Detroit 1-8-7 (no, I'm not either of the black guys in the photo)

This will be my first appearance on TV (other than America’s Most Wanted) since I played Speed Channel photographer Tony on “Team Cherokee, Part I” and “Team Cherokee, Part II” on Walker, Texas Ranger in 1999.

Also, I’m in the front row of the church scene in Lottery Ticket for those brave enough to see that movie and I’m control room technician Greg (yes, I got to use my real name) in the upcoming Life As We Know It with Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heigl on Oct. 8.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. September 21, 2010 8:58 am

    OMG!! Where to start?!? That post was hysterical! I laughed loud and long and had to get up and walk away for a moment in fear of spewing coffee on the screen.

    Last I checked we weren’t enemies but partners in crime, so don’t be killing me off in any sequel! 😉 I forgot why I even threatened to de-arm you, do you remember? Was it for posting late on your FIRST day? Eh, bygones, water under the bridge, old man.

    Oh, and I’m watching that show tonight. Gonna go set the DVR right now so I don’t forget. How exciting! Very happy for you ,Greg!

    • September 21, 2010 5:17 pm

      Ahem, yes, it might have been for posting late on the FIRST day. I was confused that day. I was wondering why you were so mad after all the work I’d done getting the site ready. Oh, wait. You did all the work.

      NOW, I remember.

      I guess I can keep you alive in the sequel.

  2. September 21, 2010 7:25 pm

    Gregory, you and C.J. are hilarious with this banter. I feel like I should go back and trace these conversations to see what I’ve missed! The lightning bolt was great, by the way. Congrats on the acting gigs.

  3. September 21, 2010 9:44 pm

    Good job you guys. Was this contest an inside job? Or was I that easily forgotten? I’m reading like a madwoman, so will enjoy the book, Greg.

    I had no idea we had such a talented crew here. But did we scare everyone else off?

    I like to inject some humor into the villain’s situation, so I take the big bad guy and mess with him, do stuff to him that would torture him, something he would hate to live through. But, I’m very nice, and usually fairly nice to my husband. A female? Same thing. I once had a beautiful vixen, who was watched by her ex in a dream, stand up naked, and when she turned around, in addition to her beautiful body, she had a red napkin stuck to her butt cheek.

    But a theme I generically go to again and again is the good triumphing over the bad. In my stories the good are saved and the bad get their due. True love always heals. Yeah, I know, sappy.

    No, I prefer the Frankenvillain: an amalgamation of all the bad guys and gals I’ve run across in my years on the planet. Giving them the honor of having a character based off any one of them, would be a sin, in my book. Let them “boil in their own juices with a stake of holly through their hearts.”

  4. September 22, 2010 6:11 pm

    Never mind what an interesting topic… damn the topic, I’m more interested in your back story, Greg! Such a rich tapestry of acquaintances… true inspiration! 🙂

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